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If a man dares to be seen with a trans woman, he will likely lose social capital so he must adamantly deny, vehemently demean, trash and/or exterminate the woman in question.

He must do this to maintain his standing in our patriarchal society.

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While statistics can, theoretically, be used to prove/disprove anything, smart people can usually see through the lies to focus on the numbers.

Instead, we shame men who have this desire, from the boyfriends, cheaters and “chasers” to the “trade,” clients, and pornography admirers.

To tell men NOT to feel this way would be akin to telling them not to breathe.Now, I don’t always agree with all of the conclusions that Rudder draws from his Ok Cupid data.Once upon a time, he was trying to illustrate why free dating sites were “better” than paid dating sites, but it was clear that he was advocating for Ok Cupid.He recognized me as a woman, and my being trans did not negate my womanhood. Don’t get me wrong, I see our loving partnership as a blessing, but not in the same way others view it.Our relationship is marveled at largely because most people do not believe that a man like Aaron should have to “compromise” his heteronormative social standing by being with a trans woman or a woman who is not “real.” It is rare for an openly trans woman – no matter how “passable” or attractive she is – to have a man who openly loves her, who has an unabashed desire to be seen with her, who proudly stands beside her — despite the stigma and other people’s curiosities and inappropriate questions.

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